Salt Lake City-Hot Men and Easy Navigation!

The title says it all! I loved Salt Lake City for it's 1 in 3 ratio of hot men, Mormons too! And I also loved the fact that I could navigate the city so easily with it's numbered streets that went in accordance to the Temple Square a.k.a. Mormon Central. Our first day was spent adjusting to the not so great hotel room with the 1960's radio in it and walking downtown to the conference center where Jason's conference was being held. As we walked we came upon an intersection where two taco stands were on opposite corners. THE FOLLOWING IS NOT PC-BUT FUNNY!
I came up with an alternate reality for the taco stands. The Miguel and Lopez families had been in a bitter taco stand rivalry for years! There was another taco stand a block away and this was the Fitzgerald family who were from the wrong side of the tracks. We ran into the naughty daughter Carlita at a restaurant and determined she was sleeping with the other family's son. It was quite a scandal! Anyways, after realizing the walking was going to kill us we got a rental car and toured the city. That night we went to Trolley Square which was a lame shopping center.

I did like this city in that almost everywhere you looked there were mountains. It was nice. The second day I went to lunch at this place called Red Rock Brewery which was awesome (I ate there twice on the trip.) After that I went to check out an erotic bakery called Madam and Steve. I bought some brownies for me and Jason for later which were iced with sexual positions. Quite interesting! I then got bored and headed to the bar closest to our hotel which was called Try-angles. Get it!? The beer was cheap there and I hung out talking to some 52 yr. old guy. Which brings me to Utah's insane liqour laws. If you go to a privately owned bar or restaurant where they serve liqour, you have to become a member for 4 dollars or they will not serve you. Thankfully I only had to deal with that insanity twice! Me and Jason had dinner at the Melting Pot that night since it was restaurant week in Salt Lake. After that we went and saw the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform. It was an OK event. The songs towards the end were more entertaining than the first ones.

Friday I went on a tour to the Great Salt Lake and Kennecott Cooper Mine. It was fun and there were two other couples from Ohio on the trip. The lake was full of history and I did pay attention to this part and I did learn some things contrary to some people's beliefs that I don't like to learn! We saw brine shrimp (sea monkeys) and went to a place called Saltair which was the place to be in old Salt Lake City. After that we went to see the copper mine which was quite a sight to see. It reminded me of "North Country." After that I met up with Jason and we had dinner at a nice Italian place where I got to have a drink called Moulin Rouge. I was so excited, only to be disappointed when I found out that the drink sucked ass! We went to the bar I had been at the day before and met the "bear" club members and got an application-for educational purposes of course! It was a fun night overall. The next day we headed out after lunch and got back to Dayton way late since we got delayed in Denver. We met a guy named David on the plane who was from Atlanta. He was nice and we chatted the whole flight. Once home and after eating Taco Hell, Jason went to bed and I stayed up to begin watching all the DVR'ed shows. I didn't get far before I was out on the recliner.

Gatlinburg Trip

This weekend we celebrated Kelly turning 30 by going to Gatlinburg. The cabin was very very nice and we had a good time. On Friday once we got settled in, me and Jason and Jodi played some air hockey with me as the victor over Jodi. Once Sam and Carla arrived, they went to get some whiskey and the rest of us debated when we should start grilling out. They returned and Jason grilled while the drinking began. After dinner, we went to the pool and Amy arrived while we were there. We returned to the cabin and began playing a celebrity drinking game which was simple and fun. Kelly also had to blow out her candles so that we could eat brownies. After that people started to head to bed and around 2 am we were in our beds. However, some of us did not stay there. I ended up getting out of the bunk bed with Jason and trying the sofa bed Amy was on. Amy slept with Jason and Shannon was on the top bunk. The sofa bed sucked ass so I went back upstairs and slept on the couch.

Next morning Kelly's brother Wes was the first one up with his wife Laura. It took awhile for everyone to get up, especially the hung over ones. Me and Amy watched "I Know What You Did Last Summer" at 9 am as we waited for everyone. Breakfast was egg bake which was really good. We also had mimosas and after breakfast some of us were semi flat affect. I took a brief hungover nap and then met up with people at the pool. Me, Jodi, Shannon, and Amy decided to drive to Gatlinburg since some of us had never been through the town. On the way we stopped at a lookout point and me and Shannon braved the hill to get down to the water. We then went through Gatlinburg and turned around and went back. It didn't really appeal to what we thought it would be like. When we returned we all got ready for dinner and we went to the Chop House. Dinner was interesting for a few reasons. When Jodi was squeezing her lemon it went flying out of her hand and flew past Jason, Carla was trying to hit the salt shaker to unclog it but she hit it too hard and the bottom came off with all the salt falling onto the table and in her salad. Then Jodi had a steak that was as flat as paper. She had various things to say about her steak LOL!

After dinner Kelly and her family headed back to the cabin and a go cart track caught our eyes. The other 5 of us went to the go kart place. Me, Jason, and Shannon did the go karts. They were fun up until you had to go down this hill which was a little freaky. Shannon ran into the concrete bumper when she was pulling in which gave Jodi and Amy quite a laugh. Back to the cabin to pack up and do some more drinking. Me and Carla watched "Underworld:Evolution" and everyone else drifted away to sleep. The next morning we were off amd me and Jason followed Amy, Shannon, and Jodi to breakfast at Cracker Barrel. The drive home was insane as we ran into two traffic jams. It was a great getaway and thanks Kelly for inviting us all to share your birthday!

Windsor Weekend

To celebrate Amy's 30th, we traveled to Windsor, Canada to have some fun and get free health care. After making multiple pit stops (Wal-Mart, Paris drop off, Wendy's), we finally began our trek. When we got there we got settled in and found Little Italy-Canada style. Dinner was nice and afterwards, we headed back to the hotel for imbibing. Me and Amy were the wild ones and Aker and Jason just observed and made witty comments about our antics (they didn't go out, Aker is old, Jason worked the night before.) The first place we hit was the Windsor Casino where I won 10 dollars and Amy lost her money. Unbeknownst to us, we waited for the free shuttle when we could have walked to the casino. Oh well!


Next we hit the dance floors and had some syringe shots which were quite tasty. We hit about three places and then traveled back to the hotel. I found a hot dog vendor which is always nice at 2 AM. We woke Aker and Jason upon our arrival and we all acted retarded til about 2 30AM.

The next thing I know I am blinded by white light as Aker flung open the blinds and created havoc in my life until after lunch. Needless to say, she received frequent pushes and negative comments throughout the day-which is not any different than usual. The breakfast debate centered on where to eat-The Lumberjack or Howard's Diner. We ended up going to the Lumberjack which was quite tasty. We learned what peameal was (form of Canadian bacon) and was made fun of by our waitress for our American ways.

Kelly and Jodi arrived around lunchtime and we went to Pepper's for Poutine (fries with gravy and cheese) and some pizza Aker was OG'ing for. We returned to the hotel, rested briefly, then hit some wineries. We all imbibed and bought some great wine. Back at the hotel, we got ready for dinner and the night out. Dinner was at a great seafood place called Lilly Kazilly's or something like that. After a few beverages, Amy was good to go as we headed to Danny's.

For the potential PG 13 readers out there I will use brief statements to discuss this experience. Lots of eyebrow raises from me, Calvin Klein everywhere, guy cavorting on the ceiling, many solid objects, low key girls until Maverick arrived, and potential dancer in our waiter. You will have to call me for more info on that adventure! After that we went back to the hotel where Jodi and Kelly went up to sleep, and the rest of us went and smoked cigars by the lake. Nice nightcap for the evening!

The last adventure came at night when Amy slept on the floor between the beds and Jodi slept on the air mattress by the AC. Me and Kelly tried to set a standard by not talking in the hopes the others would follow-they didn't. Talky talk for half an hour then silence. Around who knows when, THUD!, laughter, and OW! Aker rolled off the bed and landed on Amy's arm. We all awoke, dealt with the disturbance and went back to bed. Up the next morning and headed back to our impending jobs, schedules, and life. I'm ready to go back to Danny's-anyone with me?